Watch out these signs to avoid being someone’s ‘back burner’!

Updated On March 18, 2024 | Published By: Brandy Stratton | In Relationship

Back Burner relationship (Source: Psychology Today)

Back Burner is keeping someone in the hope of pursuing a sexual or romantic encounter
It has been easier for people to maintain the back burner with the development of technology
It is necessary to ban back burner to maintain a healthy relationship

‘Back Burner’ are people with whom we maintain contact in the hope of pursuing a sexual or romantic encounter in the future.

With the development of technology, it has been easier for people to maintain back burner contact.

People who are in a committed relationship are getting the opportunity to keep in contact with their backburners.

Picture showing relationship (Source: Research Digest)

Likewise, Michelle Drouin who is a psychology professor said,

“Back burners are people we are romantically and/or sexually interested in, who we’re not currently involved with, and with whom we keep in contact in the possibility that we might someday connect romantically and/or sexually. People can have back burners even if they’re already in a romantic relationship with someone else.”

Usually, people keep in contact with their ex or someone they previously dated.

Also read How to overcome emotional cheating in a relationship?

Table of Contents

Signs someone is maintaining a ‘back burner’ relationship with you

You are being a victim on the back burner if the person is communicating with you very little. They never communicate with you every day. Also, they will text you only 2-4 times a week or send pictures every couple of weeks.
They have excuses for everything and do not take the relationship to next level. They also say that the timing is never right.

People who keep you on their back burner are already in a relationship or they are seeing someone else.
People usually make romantic/sexual comments about you. Sometimes they only have anything sexual to say but will step back while having a normal conversation.
They only make fake plans and promises to you but when it comes to taking action they are nowhere to be found.
You found out that the person is talking with other people or ends up being with someone else.

Is having back burner cheating?

Cheating is not just when a person has a sexual relationship with someone other than their partner but also when they maintain a backburner relationship with someone else.

You are being dishonest with your partner if you are keeping someone in the hope of being with them in the future.

Also, you are technically cheating on your partner by giving someone else the attention which you should provide your partner.

People in relationship — People in a relationship (Source: Eve Greenow)

If your action is disclosed to your partner they end up getting hurt. Keeping someone on the back burner should be completely prohibited.

Also read Signs you have ‘Trauma Bond’ with someone! Here’s how to break it

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