Curving in online dating! What does this term mean?
Online dating is on the rise. Young as well as all-American couples are more and more made online these days and many have ended in successful marriages and families. Online dating apps have made things simpler. But they also have their own issues. Ghosting, breadcrumbing, paperclipping, and stashing were new terms introduced as regards the online dating to specifically mean certain issues of it. And now there is another new term in online dating added. It is called CURVING. So what exactly is curving and what to do for it?
Curving – the new term in dating vocabulary
Brittany Cox of Thought Catalog first mentioned the term Curving way back in 2017. It is similar to ghosting but in curving there is no sudden disappearance of the person. Instead, they remain on the dating app but reply to your texts in a matter of days. And they avoid any plans of commitment or meeting up. Brittany calls it:
“an ugly distant cousin of ‘ghosting.’
“When someone ‘ghosts’ you, they just suddenly stop responding with no explanation or goodbye. When someone ‘curves’ you, they keep responding, but they bat away any questions regarding commitment or any attempts to define your relationship.”
Many publications now have taken over this term and use it in their articles. These media outlets include New York post, Huffington Post, Metro UK, The Independent and the like. The term also appears on Tinder’s blog, Swipe Life.
More about Curving and its ill-effects
Curving may sound similar to ghosting but it is more worse. Because in ghosting it is a one-time thing where the person vanishes for ever from the dating scene. But curving can stretch over weeks, months, or even indefinitely. The Urban Dictionary states:
“Curving is like ghosting but more brutal, ‘cause they wanna seem nice. Maybe they take days, or even weeks, to reply to your last WhatsApp message. But instead of leaving you hanging (like a ghost would), a curver will reply, but their responses will be sporadic, closed off, and often apologetic, e.g. ‘I’m so sorry for not texting, I’ve just been really busy with insert predictable excuse here.’ Of course, they really might have been too occupied with work, family, friends, or the washing up to take a minute out of their day to message to you……. or not.”
What to do about Curving?
Curving is a lousy dating behavior and how to deal with it. If you ask your online date if they want to get drinks and there is no reply for four days. And four days later, the date answers with a complaint about a co-worker, it implies that the date is curving. The best thing to do at such a time is to disengage and MOVE ON.
The founder of MovingOn, an online healing program, Carolina Castaños, PhD, had earlier spoken on how to deal with ghosters.
She had said:
“When this is the go-to way of responding for an individual, if they do not work on themselves, this will most likely not change. This tells us that this individual has difficulty establishing relationships that are too close and that have a degree of intimacy. Think about what you want, what you want in a relationship with your partner or a close friend.”
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The same applies to curvers. Do not waste your energy on undeserving curvers. You deserve someone better. Use the same saved energy to look out for a new person who will give a positive reply to your request for a drink.