Signs you have ‘Trauma Bond’ with someone! Here’s how to break it

Updated On March 18, 2024 | Published By: Brandy Stratton | In Relationship

Trauma Bond (Source: Toxic Ties)

Trauma Bond is having an emotional bond and may occur in any relationship or situation
You feel emotionally attached or dependent on the abuser
Taking help to break the trauma bond is extremely necessary

A Trauma Bond is an emotional bond with an individual or sometimes a group of abusers. It is a recurring, cyclical pattern of ongoing abuse by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments.

Trauma bonds do just not occur in romantic relationships but also abusive parent-child relationships, sex trafficking, kidnapping, military training, cult, and hostage situations.

Trauma Bond with children — Trauma Bond with Children (Source: Child Protection Hub)

Table of Contents

Why does trauma bond happen?

Trauma bond usually occurs due to feelings of attachment and dependence. It is a result of an unhealthy attachment. Attachment is formed by humans as a means of survival.

Trauma bonds can develop when the main source of someone’s support is their abuser. An abused person turns to becoming an abusive person for comfort. Some rely on the abusive person to fulfill their emotional need. Some people usually children blame themselves and think there is something wrong with them which is why the abuse is happening to them.

While in a relationship an abusive person may promise to change and will not repeat the abuse. The victim believes that one day they will receive the love they need and the abuse will end. They give several chances to the abuser which forms a trauma bond.

Also, read How to Overcome Emotional Cheating in a Relationship?

What are the signs of trauma bond?

Trauma bonds in any relationship can affect the person mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is necessary to stop the abuser so here are the signs you have a trauma bond with an abuser.

You agree with an abusive person’s reason for treating you badly
You try to cover the abusive person and lie about the abuse
Are not willing to take steps to leave the situation or break the bond with the abuser
You feel guilty or think less of yourself and think there is something wrong with you which is why you are being abused
You are not willing to receive help or distance yourself from people trying to help you such as friends, neighbors, or even family members

How do you break a trauma bond?

Breaking a trauma bond and getting out of the situation might be difficult but it is extremely necessary. Here are the things you can do to break the trauma bond:

Take note of the pattern of abuse and keep evidence so you can take steps or get help
Having self-talk and positive affirmation can help you feel good about yourself and become independent from the abuser

Getting a therapy (Source: Restorations Therapy Centre)

Taking therapy or talking to someone else and getting help can help
Make a clear picture of how a healthy relationship looks like
If things are getting out of hand getting help from police or authorities is important

Also read Check out the 7 types of single people to find out which one are you!

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